One day, she came across a certain plant. There weren't too many wild plants of this species out yet because most of them had been torn up or burned. This one looked immaculate. Its leaves were bright green and it seemed to shine despite the overcast skies. This could have just been Juniper's imagination and excitement getting the best of her though. She broke a few leaves off and rushed home to her makeshift lab that she constructed to satisfy her research cravings. She skillfully dried the plant and prepared an experiment. Her parents volunteered to help of course.
One evening after the family got home from a community bonfire, they tested the magical plant. Juniper recorded her parents' physiological changes and interviewed them the next day. They said that the experience was much more intense than any they had ever had. They reported feeling joyful and having dreams of their best childhood memories. Juniper ran some tests on their blood and urine and found that no THC was left in their systems. It was as if her parents had never ingested the plant. They were astonished!
The next day, they all decided to go back and examine the plant. Because Juniper's parents were adventurers and usually took the path less traveled, the trio deviated from the trail slightly. Juniper's mom saw a cabin off in the distance and decided to go check it out. It appeared to be abandoned, so they went inside. There at the small dining table was a man with long, white hair and tattered clothes sipping some kind of tea. His face lit up with an enormous smile at the sight of his visitors. The old man began to babble about some nonsensical event from the 60s and invited them to stay for dinner and some "dessert." This was a golden opportunity for Juniper's family. They loved and took any chance they could get to meet a new friend and make an unorthodox memory.
"Oh, she told me I would have visitors soon!" the old man exclaimed to no one in particular.
"Who told you that?" Juniper asked.
"The lady who sings to me at night, of course!" he replied matter-of-factly.
The confusion began to subside as the family realized that this lonely man dreamed quite often of a woman he considered to be his dearest friend.
"She told me you have found the Holy Plant."
Juniper and her parents took turns staring at each other and then at the old man.
"It looks like we'll be here a while," Juniper's father said as he relaxed onto a wooden bed that must have been made in the 19th century. "Oh please! Tell us more about her!"
Author's Note:
The Sultan and the Fish from the Arabian Nights unit involves a fisherman bringing strange fish back to market to sell, which resulted in a voyage of curious people going in search of a mysterious lake. During their travels, they found a young king whose lower half had been turned to marble. The king ends up telling the story about his predicament, but I just wanted to focus on the opening of the original story in The Holy Plant. I enjoy how I ended the story and wanted to leave it unresolved. Marijuana struck me as being a magical thing that one could find out in the middle of nowhere, so I replaced it with the fish. The rest of those characters seemed to fit right in. Another big difference between my story and the original is the formality between the characters. The original story that was written centuries ago involved rulers and servants. My story was made up of a bunch of hippies who believed that trees are just as important as each human being. I enjoy stories that involve some sort of mysticism. I transformed the king's dilemma into the mysterious lady and her unexplainable knowledge. I don't necessarily believe in the supernatural, but I find unexplainable stories to be so interesting. I wanted the lady to be a character who the readers could ponder over and come up with their own explanations.
Bibliography:
The Sultan and the Fish. The Arabian Nights' Entertainments. Andrew Lang. 1898.
The parallels you use in your story are spot on. A modern twist and bringing in relatable characters make the story way more interesting than an others I have read. Congrats! I love how you allude to marijuana and change it up a bit to make it even more magical. Overall, amazing story! It actually made me want to go back and read the story, so I could see the inspiration. (except that I didn't because...Friday)
ReplyDeleteHey, Skylar! First off, I love the background you set up in this story. The free spirit of the main character is clearly evident, and you can definitely picture both her and the setting she grew up in. Then the way you set up the mystery and curiosity of the rare, immaculate plant continues to draw the reader into the story, creating a little bit of drama and intrigue right off the bat. Then the fact that you get back to the parents and utilize the lifestyle of the family to further the story while still maintaining the plot is both creative and kind of impressive, haha. And when you leave off the tale by explaining some things without really explaining everything—well, it definitely leaves the readers guessing and hypothesizing a variety of possible explanations, lol. I might have put a more definite ending in, but I can totally understand why you chose not to. Great work! Can’t wait to read the rest of your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you changed this story to have such a modern setting while still having some mysticism involved. I read the original of this story, too, so it was very interesting for me to see the direction you chose to go in. Replacing the strange fish with a “strange” plant was creative. I also like the background you gave to have the story make sense. The only thing I would say is that the story seemed to end kind of abruptly. It might be interesting to add a little more about how the family realizes that the man is talking about his dearest friend by adding some dialogue to explain it. It is very interesting, though, that the lady knows that the family is coming and that they have the Holy Plant. I definitely agree that leaving some mystery about her and the whole situation is good for this story, but maybe just adding a little bit more development would be beneficial. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey, Skye! From the beginning, your story was incredibly interesting. I love the detail you included from “vegetarian musicians” to “marijuana researcher.” Thus, it was not hard to draw in my attention. The story was easy to understand and I love how you made the story fun and crazy in some ways (with the holy plant) but also believable in other ways (testing for THC). I would have loved to hear the man explain the mysterious lady that sings to him every night – is it all in his mind or is there some sort of mystic woman? Your author’s note was also great. Some people tend to skimp on these, but you did a thorough job of explaining the original story, what you changed about it, and why. When I got to the last part of your author’s note, I understood why you left the story off where you did – so we could come to our own conclusions. Well done!
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ReplyDeleteSkye, as I read your first line, I thought the theme you picked for your blog really tied in the story. The story had a fresh and light –heartedness that made me feel at ease. You used the word “immaculate” to describe one of the wild plants. I actually discovered this word a few weeks ago when my curiosity got the best of me. There is a local nonprofit in my area that is called Immaculate Conception, so I had been wondering what the word meant.
This is being very nit-picky, but there were a few times you put two spaces in between sentences. I know this used to be the proper way to write, but if I am correct, only one space is needed. This happened in between these two sentences: “The next day, they all decided to go back and examine the plant. Because Juniper's parents were adventurers and usually took the path less traveled, the trio deviated from the trail slightly.”
Great story! Thanks for the enjoyable read.
Ah, I really liked the entire concept of this story. I love how you changed it from being about a sultan and a fish, to something a little more modern and easy to imagine and visualize. I loved the personalities that you gave to your characters and how they were so apparent right off the bat!
ReplyDeleteI particularly loved your first paragraph. It was interesting and had a sort of matter-of-fact sassy-ness to it (I'm not entirely sure how to describe the feeling of it, haha). It just sounded so casual but also intriguing, definitely made me excited to read the rest of the story. I already felt like I knew the characters and liked them.
There were some places in the middle of your story where the sentences felt a little bit choppy to me. Maybe it could help to change some of the structuring of your sentences up so that it doesn't feel mechanical and lose the spark and momentum that you began your story with.
Overall, great great job!
Skye - I really liked your story! It was very interesting and I thought this story was quite unique. I thought the hippie aspect of the story was pretty funny ironic. I agree with Brooke that the story was fresh and light and it was a really easy read, which was good and it kept interested the entire time. You did a good job developing the family's personality and developing their closeness. I liked how they adventured into the log cabin and joined the old man for dinner. I thought it was funny they all tried the new plant together like true hippies!
ReplyDeleteI really didn't see any mistakes that haven;t already been made. You are a great writer and did a good job with this story. I thought the picture of the old man was spot on. It really gave a great visual to your story and let the reader's imagination come to life.
Thanks again for the good read. You did a great job and this story was super fun to read. Looking forward to more stories soon!
Skye: Your story was very well written and memorable. I especially enjoyed the picture you describe of the old man "sipping some kind of tea;" by your description, I was able to easily imagine the situation in my mind's eye. So, well done in that regard.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that your narration is quite smooth and well-paced. I didn't notice any stylistic or grammatical errors. The diction is varied and contextually appropriate. Additionally, you describe things well but kept the paragraph breaks consistent, only using longer paragraphs when needed. I think this contributed to a higher level of readability.
My only critiques as the reader are that I would have enjoyed a bit more dialogue; I think it would've helped me understand the characters slightly more.
Furthermore, vivid description of the scenery was slightly lacking. I think this would help the reader imagine distinct landscapes, facial expressions, and much more.
Nice work! I look forward to reading your next story.
Hey Skye! Your story was very creative! I liked that you talked about marijuana in your story. It was very tastefully done and it added a mythical element to your story. I liked the description you used when talking about Juniper’s parents. It was nice to hear their backstory and find out the reasoning behind Juniper’s name. Their story connected to and added to the story instead of taking away from it and veering from the plot. Your layout also works very well. The green helped me picture Juniper’s hike and her finding the plant. I also really liked that you left the ending open for interpretation. Although I really wanted to find out who the woman the old man with the beard was talking about, it was cool that you added a touch of mystery by not telling the audience. My guess is that the man has been consuming the Holy Plant for so long that he is in a constant state of hallucination and the woman is a part of the memory/hallucination.
ReplyDeleteI really thought this story was extremely creative. I especially liked how you left the ending as you did. Sometimes its better to leave the story open ended as you did and let the reader wonder about the ending themselves. I was very interested to see how you would incorporate Juniper's dream job into the story but having the Magical Plant incorporated was very well done.
ReplyDeleteI agree with some of the above comments that mention improvements such as a tad more dialogue or addition of scenery description could add to the story. For example, a detailed description of the area where the magical plant was found could be very interesting and make it seem even more magical. I don't think that not having this takes away from the story but if added it would definitely add to the story. At least for me. Great story! I look forward to reading more from your portfolio!
Awesome job, Skye! This was a very creative take on the Sultan and the Fish. I especially liked how you made it more modern. Your descriptions of the hippy family were really good and created a lot of imagery. You went into great depth to describe the family, Juniper Solstice, and the environment. It really helped visualize every scene in the story. I definitely know people with the same dream job as Juniper. I am not sure if you intended for your story to be funny, but I thought that it was. The VW Microbus is the ultimate hippy van so I could not help but laugh a little bit. Also, I thought the way you ended it was perfect and your explanation in the Author's Note helped reinforce it. Overall, I think your story is really good and very creative. I am looking forward to reading other stories in your portfolio!
ReplyDeleteSkye! I find this story incredibly creative, and honestly think it is hilarious that you wrote a whole story on the magical Mary Jane! I seriously giggled almost the entire way through. What I loved about this story is that I honestly felt that I was right there! I love that you changed the story from kings and servants to hippies- I feel like it actually makes it more relatable in a way. I also love how you describe everything so well- for instance, whenever her family came upon the cabin in the woods I was imagining that I was right there with them. Especially good timing since I went hiking this past weekend... I can really easily imagine this very thing happening along the trail. I think also you do a great job of choosing character traits to make things more realistic. For instance, you explain to the reader what her parents are like and then at the end when they decide to stay indefinitely it fits very well into the characters you have created. I don't really have any critiques actually, nice work!
ReplyDeleteYou did a fantastic job on your Author’s Notes. It was very nice to see detailed Author’s Notes. That is probably my favorite part to read. I absolutely love having background to what I am reading. I loved seeing how your transformed the original story into your own. Your characters were great, especially the main character and her name. Jupiter Solstice is such an awesome hippie name! I thought having a magical plant definitely fits with the hippie setting. I also liked how the parents were oh so eager to volunteer to blaze up. I found that extremely funny. Everything flowed really well and it was very easy to follow and read your story. Your links and fonts are working and good. The only thing I particularly did not care for is that you left the story open. I know that was your intent and you did a great job in leaving it open to interpretation, but I just personally need closure lol.
ReplyDeleteI chose this story because I wrote one for my Portfolio very similar! Ha! You did an awesome job and I really enjoyed it. Your story was well thought out and I can tell you put some major effort in creating it. This was also the last story I will ever read in this class, and I believe I ended on a great one! I like the hippie feel you gave to this story, I thought it added some humor and made you're story super enjoyable. Your magical plant seems pretty neat! Great job on formatting, it was very easy to flow through the entire story. I didn't notice any grammar issues either which is awesome! Again, great job and thanks for the fun read to end all readings in this course!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Skye, I really liked your story! I like how you tied her being a marijuana researcher (and presumably enthusiast!) into the magical plant. The fact that it wasn't weed was a nice twist to the story! The details you used were perfect. I can just see the types of people her parents were in my head perfectly. I kind of pictured her mom like how Jenny was in the 70s in Forrest Gump, and her dad as a Tommy Chong-type character! I liked the abrupt ending, you set it up just well enough to make us want more, but not enough to totally give anything away. The rest was up to our imaginations! The picture you included I thought could've been added into the middle to give a mental image of what the old man looked like, but it worked in the end also! Overall, I thought this was a great story. I didn't see any errors and it flowed really well. Great job!
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