Miss New Shoes wanted to celebrate her future that evening! She went into the kitchen to find something to throw together. It was just her and her dog, Sam. He had gotten used to her awful cooking by this point but still looked for any way to get out of eating whatever was coming out of that kitchen. "Spaghetti and wine sound quite lovely," she thought as she put a pot of water on the stove. "It's hard to mess up spaghetti." As she poured, stirred, and mixed, she though about all of the things that being in the Navy would bring her...
I want to travel the world! I'll get to see every ocean and beautiful coastline on Earth! Oh and the men! How grand it would be to fall in love in some exotic location. Why not Italy? My aunt always talks about that beautiful country and the wonderful food that they spend hours preparing. Maybe we'll meet in a cooking class. Oh yes! I'll sure his name will be Giovanni. We'll laugh and drink good wine all through the night. We'll get married in Tuscany in an old chapel, of course. Then we'll have two children: Giovanni Junior and Elisa. My handsome husband will build our family a house on the rolling Italian hills, and we will all live happily ever after. The end!
The spaghetti ended up mushy from being overcooked, but the wine made everything taste fine to her. She carried her bowl and glass into the living room, so that she could eat on the coach with Sam. "Where did he go?" she wondered while looking around the room for Sam. She spotted some bright green thread in the corner. "Sam!" There was silence for a moment. Then Sam came around the corner with what used to be one of her new shoes in his mouth. He had torn them to shreds.
Author's Note:
This story is based on The Broken Pot. A poor man receives many grains of rice which he stores in a pot. He sits alone imagining all of the things that the rice could buy him and how his life might be. He ends up breaking the pot and spilling the rice all over the floor, leaving him with nothing. My retelling involved changing the main character and the dreams that distracted her from reality and her immediate tasks. Her new running shoes stood for a fresh start and an opportunity to leave her home in search of love. While she was busy dreaming and hoping for things to come, her big chance was destroyed. In the end, both the poor man and the hopeful girl lost their opportunities.
Bibliography:
The Broken Pot. Indian Fairy Tales. Joseph Jacobs. 1912.
This story was very interesting! I like how you changed the story to a girl and her dog. Haha the girl in your story sounds like me. I cannot cook to save my life haha. Actually, spaghetti is like one of the only things that I can cook well haha. Your story was very well written! I really like it!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! I felt really badly for the girl at the end, but you’ve got to be careful with your shoes around your dog! Hopefully she’s able to get a new shoe and learned her lesson: don’t daydream too much and spoil things for yourself. I thought your reinterpretation was very fun and relevant, and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very original retelling of the Broken Pot. I used the same story for my storytelling post last week. I liked the modern take on a classic tale. One aspect that the original story had that this did not was that the main character kind deserved what he got. I did not really feel that way about your character. I felt bad about the shoes :(
ReplyDeleteSkye, I thought your story was fantastic. It was so simple, no extreme characters or crazy plot twists, but yet so enjoyable. The small details you added about the dog not like her cooking and the wine she drank really complemented the story quite well. I thought it was very creative how you made the main character a naval candidate as a way to frame the reason behind her new shoes and the possibilities and opportunities that she had ahead of her. The symbolism of the new shoes as a fresh start in love and her life was great touch as well. Her daydreaming was very realistic. When people think about new possibilities in their life, love is definitely one of the first aspects that they think of. The way you described her thoughts about finding love in Italy was beautiful. I found only a few errors (you wrote a good pairs of shoes instead of a good pair of shoes) but nothing that spellcheck could solve. Overall, I really enjoyed the style of your writing and I hope to read more of your stories. Good job!
ReplyDeleteSkye,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story! I loved how you talked about the smell of new tennis shoes. I also am a huge fan of that rubbery aroma. You also had a great touch of humor with her actually messing up the spaghetti after she talked about how it would be hard to mess up that dish. It was perfect to wrap that up with her not noticing that it was mushy sense she had some wine to pair it with. I really enjoyed reading this.
Your mention of the smell of new shoes sorta took me off-guard, but I think it certainly added to the story. I've never personally noticed the smell, but I'll probably be replacing my shoes here in a week or so. I'll make sure to look out for that smell. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your story - good job!
ReplyDeleteBefore I read you author notes I thought of the broken pot...so good job of retelling the story in a unique way. I think that you did a good job of updating this tale and changing the settings. Though you changed a lot from the original you did a great job of retaining the message of the original which is why I was reminded of the original. I think is a great quality to be able to do. Over all I think you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to say, I LOVED the picture that you chose for your storytelling. The first line of the story made me want to keep reading to know what the rest of the story was going to be about. Good job on hooking your audience. I enjoyed your story and the way that it was spaced out made it easy to read and follow. Good job
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